Let's Get Through It Together - Month Four
My family can never get along. We’re always yelling at each other. When that happens, I run down into the laundry room to try and get away, but I still hear screaming. What should I do?
Try getting the
whole family out of the house -- to the beach, a park or somewhere private
and relaxing where you can talk. Go in one car, and be somewhere where
people can’t walk away. Tell your family rationally about the
problems you see, and tell them you can’t keep living like this.
Ask them what solutions you can all work on. By the way, it sounds like
your family could use some counseling -- look in the phone book under
“psychologists,” or ask a school counselor to recommend
people to talk to. If you think they’d do it, you might suggest
to your family that you all go there together.
Chances are, you are NOT going to lose her as a friend. Explain to her how important her friendship is to you and then tell her how you feel about her brother. Tell her you hope to keep the relationships separate. And break it to this guy soon.
My friends lie and play pranks on each other, then they all get mad at each other for doing it. I am the only one who doesn’t participate, but I can’t stop them from playing awful jokes on me. They even ordered almost $40.00 worth of pizzas and had them delivered to my house! What can I do?
Ask yourself three
questions: 1. How much do I enjoy their company? 2. What can they do for
me as friends? 3. Are there other people I like more and who would be
better friends to me? It sounds like these friends mess with you too much
to be worth your while. But you could try talking to them seriously and
telling them why you don’t like the pranks.
You know that expression,
“You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? Well, there
it is. You can’t have a boyfriend and date other guys at the same
time. Well, you could, but then you’ll feel very guilty, and it’s
not a nice thing to do. You have to ask yourself a couple of questions,
like: Do I really, truly, have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with
my pen pal? Will I ever, since he’s so far away? Would it be better
to have a boyfriend closer to home? Would it be better to date (these)
guys -- or to play the field? If it were up to me, I think your best bet
is to stick with guys closer to home.
All I can say is, what the heck do you think you’re doing hanging out with gangbangers? If you’re not part of a gang, why in the world should you pretend to be so you can impress someone? That’s pretty messed-up logic. Gangs are bad, bad, bad news. No matter how much you like this guy, unless he decides to quit the gang, you should stay away from him. There are plenty of guys who aren’t into getting into trouble. Hang with them.
First, pick your friends very carefully. You don’t want to start off wrong. Sometimes, the best way to meet people is to join a club, team or organization at school that interests you. That way, at least you are getting together with people who are into the same things you are. Try to find one person you could see yourself getting close to -- guy or girl -- possibly someone who will introduce you to other cool people you’ll like. And don’t worry, sooner or later you’ll feel more comfortable in your hometown. Good luck.
Tell your friends that the grade a guy is in at school has nothing to do with his rank in a relationship. The most important thing is being with someone you like, whether he’s younger, older or the same age as you. Stick to your beliefs. If you really like this guy, go with him. Don’t let your friends’ opinions change that.
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