Let's Get Through It Together

Let's Get Through It Together - Month Four

My family can never get along. We’re always yelling at each other. When that happens, I run down into the laundry room to try and get away, but I still hear screaming. What should I do?

Justine G.
Ontario, Canada

Try getting the whole family out of the house -- to the beach, a park or somewhere private and relaxing where you can talk. Go in one car, and be somewhere where people can’t walk away. Tell your family rationally about the problems you see, and tell them you can’t keep living like this. Ask them what solutions you can all work on. By the way, it sounds like your family could use some counseling -- look in the phone book under “psychologists,” or ask a school counselor to recommend people to talk to. If you think they’d do it, you might suggest to your family that you all go there together.

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I’ve been going with this guy in another city for about six months. During this time, his sister and I have become really good friends. Now I don’t really like him anymore, but I’m scared if we break up, his sister will be mad at me and I’ll lose her friendship.

Mirissa B.
Atlanta, GA

Chances are, you are NOT going to lose her as a friend. Explain to her how important her friendship is to you and then tell her how you feel about her brother. Tell her you hope to keep the relationships separate. And break it to this guy soon.

My friends lie and play pranks on each other, then they all get mad at each other for doing it. I am the only one who doesn’t participate, but I can’t stop them from playing awful jokes on me. They even ordered almost $40.00 worth of pizzas and had them delivered to my house! What can I do?

Ask yourself three questions: 1. How much do I enjoy their company? 2. What can they do for me as friends? 3. Are there other people I like more and who would be better friends to me? It sounds like these friends mess with you too much to be worth your while. But you could try talking to them seriously and telling them why you don’t like the pranks.

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I have a pen pal, who is also my boyfriend, in another state. I recently met another boy at the skating rink. He asked me out to the movies, and I agreed. Now I feel guilty and unsure about who I like better. I want to be both their girlfriends. Help!

You know that expression, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? Well, there it is. You can’t have a boyfriend and date other guys at the same time. Well, you could, but then you’ll feel very guilty, and it’s not a nice thing to do. You have to ask yourself a couple of questions, like: Do I really, truly, have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with my pen pal? Will I ever, since he’s so far away? Would it be better to have a boyfriend closer to home? Would it be better to date (these) guys -- or to play the field? If it were up to me, I think your best bet is to stick with guys closer to home.

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In my school there are two separate gangs -- the ones who are down with LA (Los Angeles) and the ones who are down with MVR (Mount Vernon). This guy I like thinks I’m down with LA, and he won’t go out with me cuz he’s with MVR. He says if people from two different gangs get together, everything goes wrong. I really like him -- and I’m not down with anything. Should I pretend I’m from MVR, or what?

All I can say is, what the heck do you think you’re doing hanging out with gangbangers? If you’re not part of a gang, why in the world should you pretend to be so you can impress someone? That’s pretty messed-up logic. Gangs are bad, bad, bad news. No matter how much you like this guy, unless he decides to quit the gang, you should stay away from him. There are plenty of guys who aren’t into getting into trouble. Hang with them.

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I’m moving from Toledo, Ohio to Sheridan, Wyoming. I’ve lived in Toledo almost 13 years and can’t imagine living in another town without all of my close friends. How am I going to make new friends in a whole new state? I really feel all alone.

First, pick your friends very carefully. You don’t want to start off wrong. Sometimes, the best way to meet people is to join a club, team or organization at school that interests you. That way, at least you are getting together with people who are into the same things you are. Try to find one person you could see yourself getting close to -- guy or girl -- possibly someone who will introduce you to other cool people you’ll like. And don’t worry, sooner or later you’ll feel more comfortable in your hometown. Good luck.

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I’m a seventh grader, and my boyfriend is a sixth grader. My friends tease me because I’m in junior high and he’s in elementary school. What do I do?

Tell your friends that the grade a guy is in at school has nothing to do with his rank in a relationship. The most important thing is being with someone you like, whether he’s younger, older or the same age as you. Stick to your beliefs. If you really like this guy, go with him. Don’t let your friends’ opinions change that.