Let's Get Through It Together - Month Six

My teacher keeps touching my breasts. I have him for three classes, plus gym. To make matters worse, my parents are good friends with him and his wife, so I babysit his kid. I’m scared if I resist he might rape me.

Becca Z.
Jackson, MS

Your teacher is sexually harassing you. You MUST tell your parents exactly what’s been going on -- right away. If you can’t talk to your parents, tell another teacher, a family member or a minister. If there isn’t anyone you feel close enough to talk to, look in the telephone book yellow pages under “Child Abuse Information and Treatment” or “Crisis Intervention Services” and call someone there. I can tell you right now it’s going to be painful to deal with this, but you do not deserve what this man is doing to you, and you must stop him. He’s probably doing the same thing to other girls. Please, get help as soon as you can.

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I have hair on my upper lip like a moustache. How can I get rid of it?

Rochelle L.
Oakley, CA

I don’t know, have you talked to your mom or friends about it? Everyone has SOME hair on their upper lip. See what they think. [A note from the gals at BOP: Jolene Creme Facial Bleach, which you can get at any drugstore, works miracles. Or go to a salon and check out other options, like waxing and electrolysis.]

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There’s this boy in school who really likes me and who’s really nice. I’m interested in him, but there are rumors around school that he’s gay. I know they’re not true, but I don’t know if I should go out with him or not. I’m afraid of the gossip.

Confused
Lima, OH

Who cares what people say? You’re probably in junior high, which is a couple years of your life where every guy in school is called a “fag” at some point or another. Go out with the guy if you like him!

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My mom will not get off of my back about my grades. I already have an A- average. She’s mad because my sister and brother both have A averages. I do my best, but she can’t see that.

Marie A.
Mayville, WI

This is really a difficult situation, because you are being very logical and your mom isn’t. Most parents would kill to have kids with grades as good as yours. Try asking her why it’s so important that your grades are perfect, and ask what she thinks you should do differently from what you’re doing now. Then try again, telling her that you’ve done your absolute best, and that you can’t be compared to your brother and sister because you aren’t them. If all else fails, maybe your dad or another family member can talk with her for you. By the way, if you’re trying to get into a good college, an A- average is just about as good as an A average. The difference shouldn’t hurt you, especially if you’re into extracurricular activities like drama, student government or band.

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My parents divorced when I was born. My dad has done many bad things and served nine years in jail for attempted murder. Now he’s written me a letter and wants to meet me. He says he’s changed. But the only reason I’d like to talk to him is to ask his permission for my stepdad to adopt me. What should I do?

Angela W.
Marina Del Rey, CA

It sounds like your dad wants to make amends for his life. But if you don’t feel comfortable being a part of that, you don’t have to be. Talk with your mom and stepdad and see what they have to say about the situation. If you (or they) feel he would act strangely or violently if you asked him to let your stepdad adopt you, then I would avoid meeting him. If you decide to start a relationship with him, you could write or call him instead of meeting him in person, which actually might be the best way. Most of all, don’t feel pressured to do anything that makes you uneasy.

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I’ve been thinking about starting to use drugs. I got in trouble with my parents because my English teacher called them to discuss my “attitude.” Then I got in trouble for taking my Walkman to school. I’m just under a lot of pressure. Then there is this guy I like a lot. He uses drugs. I know it’s wrong, but it’s the only way I think I can get the pressure off me. And how do I find out if this guy likes me without asking him directly?

Elizabeth R.
Pattonville, TX

Oh Liz, Liz, Liz, Liz! Can’t you see that you aren’t looking to relieve pressure, but just to fit in with this guy? If you really want to get rid of stress, try exercise. Better yet, talk to your English teacher about why she thinks you have an attitude problem. And for heaven’s sake, leave your Walkman at home. As far as this guy goes, forget him. If he’s really into drugs, he’s going to like them more than he’ll ever like you.

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I have serious thoughts about suicide. Last week I saw some broken glass in a parking lot and thought about how easy it would be to slit my wrists. All my problems would be over. I knew I wouldn't do it right then, but what if I have the opportunity again and my heart doesn't remind me of what is right?

Anonymous
Witchita, KS

There is still a big part of you that doesn't want to commit suicide. Have that side of yourself come forward to talk with someone -- anyone -- quick. There are many hotlines with people who care in your phone book. Look under "Suicide Prevention" or call one of the numbers on this page. You should also know that your thoughts are very common. I don't know too many people who haven't contemplated the same thing. Sometimes suicide seems easier than facing reality, but that doesn't mean reality won't change or get better for you. Life is often a serious pain in the butt, but it's definitely better than the alternative. Whatever you do, please get help before doing anything drastic. Good luck in working things out. And cut this out and put it in your wallet in case you feel bad again.

 

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