Let's Get Through It Together

Let's Get Through It Together - Month Fourteen

Well, we’re sorry to have to report that after a long reign as BOP’s advice king, Jonathan has decided it’s time for him to give up this column. He is sad and disappointed, and this was not an easy decision for him. But with the added responsibility he’s taken on in moving to Florida, where he’s now living on his own, along with majorly long hours he puts in on seaQuest, he’s just found it impossible to give LGTIT the attention it deserves.
Jonathan has asked us to let you know how grateful he has been for the chance to help some of you. He hopes his work on TV and in films will touch you as much as you’ve touched him with your letters. He wrote a note to you, and without further ado, here it is:

“Over the years, the majority of mail I’ve received has been about my shows or my films. But every once in a while, I get a letter from someone who needs serious advice in his or her own life. Over the past year and a half, this column has touched upon many of the issues you and your peers face every day -- problems ranging from teen pregnancy to drug use to suicide. I realize that in this column, every single kid wrote in with life-threatening problems, and that all those letters had to be narrowed down to a few. But I hope this section of BOP has made a few of you realize that you’re not alone. And I hope that has helped. So stay sane, and keep cool. Thanks.”

--Jonathan Brandis

Here’s Jon’s final advice:

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I met a guy in another state when I went on vacation. Then there is this guy who lives in my neighborhood whom I’ve known for a while. I really like both of them, and they really like me. I feel guilty when I’m with the one who lives close to me, but I also feel guilty when I write love letters to the other one! Help me!

Kim G.
Garland, TX

I see no reason why you can’t be interested in both guys at the same time, as long as you’re up-front and honest with each of them about the situation. That’s what dating is all about. You shouldn’t feel guilty at all, as long as you’re truthful. I’ll tell you, though, it’s rough having a long-distance relationship, and you’ll have a better chance keeping something going with the guy who lives closest to you. Good luck.

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I’m 12 and have a huge crush on a guy I know. The problem is that he’s just my friend, and that’s it. We do everything together, like play video games and watch movies. But he’s just not the romantic type when we’re together. I’m afraid if I tell him he might laugh at me or end our friendship. Please help!

T.G.
Bronx, NY

My opinion is that if you want to stay friends, you probably should not let him know about your crush -- at least, if you’ve only had a crush on him for a few weeks. You didn’t say how old he is, but if you’re the same age, 12 is pretty young for most guys to be interested in girls as girlfriends. And as most crushes do, yours probably will pass, and you’ll just see him as a normal guy again. If, after a few months, your feelings become deeper and don’t go away, then you might want to take the risk and tell him how you feel. Don’t get all mushy and weepy on him, though. Just be straightforward. You never know; he might feel the same way about you.

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I am deaf, and it is really hard to get boys to like me because I have to wear a hearing aid. How can I get them to pay attention?

This may sound like too-simple advice, but you just have to be yourself. Soon enough, someone will come along who is worth your while and who will pay heaps of attention to you, not caring if you’re deaf or not. The best thing you can do to meet someone is pursue things you enjoy. Maybe you could join the school paper, student government or a sports team. That way, you’ll be around people whith whom you have common interests, and they’ll get to know all aspects of you.

Well, Emily, if I had a sure answer for this question, then maybe I’d be able to stop biting my own nails. It’s such an annoying, unconscious habit for me. My dad bribed me once with $100 to stop. I stopped for a month, he paid me, and then I started again. I had to give the money back! Anyhow, I’ve heard about nail stuff you can paint on that tastes really bad and supposedly stops you from chewing. There are all sorts of different brand names, but virtually, they’re all the same. You can buy it at beauty supply and drug stores. Some girls also get fake nails put on to stop them from biting. How’s that for tips?