Let's Get Through It Together - Month Nine
I’m 13, and I had been dating the same guy since school started this semester. Then, a few months ago, he died in a car wreck. I've been asked out by other guys since then, but have said no. Do you think I should get on with my life and go out with them, or not?
I think you should
go out with other guys, but only when you’re completely ready.
Losing someone you’re close to -- especially in such a horrible
way -- takes a lot of time to work through. In the meantime, when a
guy asks you out, explain the situation, and let him know this is a
tough time for you. If he really likes you, he’ll understand and
wait. Who knows? You might even gain a new friend.
I say, don’t
let the act go on any further. Being yourself can sometimes be kind
of scary, but believe me, it’s the best way to go in the long
run. Besides, how can you say for sure that people won’t like
you anymore if you stop acting stupid? You haven’t tried. Give
it a shot.
Try to spend as much time as you can with him. You two have a lot of catching up to do, since you’ve only known him for such a short time. It’s good that you like him. That makes it easier. Don’t concentrate on having him replace your dad’s position, but instead, accept him as a close friend. Good luck.
You say you don’t
want to get this guy in trouble, but you shouldn’t have to live
in fear, either. It sounds like the only way to stop him from harassing
you is to bring in a third party. Since you’ve already told your
dad what’s going on, maybe he can talk to the guy’s parents.
Also, you didn’t say whether or not this guy goes to your school,
but if he does, it would be a good idea to let a teacher or counselor
know what’s been going on. Basically, it’s time for you
to stop worrying about this guy’s feelings and enlist the help
of someone who’s going to protect you.
I think you’re old enough now to ask again. It’s been four years, and they’ve probably noticed that you’ve grown up a lot since then. If it’s bugging you, ask! I don’t think they would put it off again.
Well, I definitely think YOU are too YOUNG to be having sex! More on that in a sec. As far as dating, four years can be a big difference, but it really depends on the people involved. Since I don’t know much about Scott, I can’t say whether or not he’s too old for you. But the fact that you’re asking makes me think you have some doubts -- which you definitely shouldn’t ignore. Back to the sex thing: Just because you’ve had sex with him once already doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. And just so you know, it’s illegal for a person who’s over 18 to have sex with a person who’s under 18. It’s called statutory rape.
The first thing to do is to sit down and let your mom know how much you care about her and how much it bothers you to see her doing something that’s illegal. This may be enough to make her stop. But if it isn’t, don’t take it personally. Once someone starts doing drugs, it can be hard to stop without professional help. If this sounds like your mom, you might want to call the toll-free Youth Crisis Line at 1-800-448-4663 and speak with a counselor. Your call will be confidential, so you won’t get your mom in trouble, and they’ll have some good advice for her and you.
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