Let's Get Through It Together - Month Three
There is a guy at school I was kind of friends with last year, and this year, he’s become really annoying. He calls me at home two or three times a day. Sometimes he calls so late that he wakes my parents up and I get in trouble. How do I tell him I don’t want to be friends with him anymore?
Sounds to me like
he likes you more than just a friend -- it’s a crush. And since
you don’t feel the same way about him, you need to tell him in
as nice a way as possible that he needs to find someone else to bug,
um, talk with. Don’t be mean; just tell him he’s a good
guy, but you’re not interested. If all else fails, tell him you’re
getting in trouble for all his calls and that he’s got to stop
or he’ll have to answer to your parents. That should work.
It sounds like
your dad really cares about you and wants to be included in your social
activities. Maybe he’s afraid of you growing older and becoming
more independent and doesn’t want to lose touch with you. Without
getting mad or yelling, tell him you love him, but that he’s got
to let go of you enough to let you grow up. This is just one of those
situations that takes a lot of talking to calm his fears. Good luck.
If you feel you
must tell your boyfriend, first explain that it is completely over between
you and the new guy. Also, explain to your boyfriend that your feelings
for him have not changed at all and that you do not think about or talk
to guy #2 at all anymore. Who knows, your boyfriend may have cheated
on you with a little Canadian chick! (Kidding!)
I guess your best
bet is to let the guys your age know you’re interested in THEM,
not in the older guys. Since you do look older, most 13-year-old guys
are probably pretty intimidated by you, so you may have to be friendlier
than you already are or actually do the asking yourself.
It’s hard for me to say since I’m not in your shoes, living in your house. But try this: Don’t listen to others’ opinions. Use your own judgement about where you’d be the happiest. Also take into consideration whether you really want to move to Los Angeles. I’ve always found Yreka quite pretty, ya know.
Start spending some time with him. If you start picking up hints of attraction or begin to notice he wants to continually spend time with you, then go for it. You also can use your brother to get info on what’s going on in your ex-boyfriend’s mind. Maybe your bro will help you out.
First off, don’t blame your dad -- it won’t help things any. I suggest you take your stepmom out and discuss the problems with her alone. In a one-on-one conversation it’s hard to escape the truth. You said she was nice to you in the beginning, so I’m sure there’s some of that civil attitude toward you still. When you speak with her, be sure to tell her your AND your sisters’ feelings -- let her know it’s not just you. And listen to her reasons for all these new rules, too. Above all, really think about what you feel is important to say beforehand -- don’t be looking for a problem with this woman if it’s not really there.
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