Let's Get Through It Together

Let's Get Through It Together - Month Three

There is a guy at school I was kind of friends with last year, and this year, he’s become really annoying. He calls me at home two or three times a day. Sometimes he calls so late that he wakes my parents up and I get in trouble. How do I tell him I don’t want to be friends with him anymore?

Brooks W.
Central, SC

Sounds to me like he likes you more than just a friend -- it’s a crush. And since you don’t feel the same way about him, you need to tell him in as nice a way as possible that he needs to find someone else to bug, um, talk with. Don’t be mean; just tell him he’s a good guy, but you’re not interested. If all else fails, tell him you’re getting in trouble for all his calls and that he’s got to stop or he’ll have to answer to your parents. That should work.

*~*~*~*~*~*

My dad comes to my school almost every day and takes pictures all day long. I tell him to stop, but it seems as though he doesn’t care! He even comes to my dances! Help!

Anna M.
Carnation, WA

It sounds like your dad really cares about you and wants to be included in your social activities. Maybe he’s afraid of you growing older and becoming more independent and doesn’t want to lose touch with you. Without getting mad or yelling, tell him you love him, but that he’s got to let go of you enough to let you grow up. This is just one of those situations that takes a lot of talking to calm his fears. Good luck.

*~*~*~*~*~*

I’ve been dating this great guy for several months. I really like him a lot, but while he was in Canada over the summer, I went out with another guy. I realized my mistake and broke it off with the new guy, but I’m afraid my boyfriend might find out and that he’ll be hurt and break up with me. How do I tell my boyfriend I cheated on him?

Ab D.
Dallas, TX

If you feel you must tell your boyfriend, first explain that it is completely over between you and the new guy. Also, explain to your boyfriend that your feelings for him have not changed at all and that you do not think about or talk to guy #2 at all anymore. Who knows, your boyfriend may have cheated on you with a little Canadian chick! (Kidding!)

*~*~*~*~*~*

I’m 13, but all the guys I meet think I’m 16 or 17. Because of this, I always get asked out by older guys who use cheap come-on lines. How can I get the really sweet guys my age to ask me out?

Kristy S.
Redding, CA

I guess your best bet is to let the guys your age know you’re interested in THEM, not in the older guys. Since you do look older, most 13-year-old guys are probably pretty intimidated by you, so you may have to be friendlier than you already are or actually do the asking yourself.

*~*~*~*~*~*

I live with my mother. My father lives in Los Angeles and wants me to live with him, but my mother isn’t taking it very well. My father and I get along great, but my mother thinks I’ll end up getting hurt. They’ve left the decision up to me. What do you think I should do?

Karissa B.
Yreka, CA

It’s hard for me to say since I’m not in your shoes, living in your house. But try this: Don’t listen to others’ opinions. Use your own judgement about where you’d be the happiest. Also take into consideration whether you really want to move to Los Angeles. I’ve always found Yreka quite pretty, ya know.

*~*~*~*~*~*

I went out with this great guy last summer. After we broke up, I discovered I still liked him. He’s really good friends with my brother and calls me sometimes to talk about school. How do I tell him I still like him, and how will I know he likes me?

Start spending some time with him. If you start picking up hints of attraction or begin to notice he wants to continually spend time with you, then go for it. You also can use your brother to get info on what’s going on in your ex-boyfriend’s mind. Maybe your bro will help you out.

*~*~*~*~*~*

I’m 13 and having problems with my stepmother. When my father first started dating her, she seemed incredibly nice. They got married after six months, and everything changed. Now there are so many rules. My stepmother has brainwashed my dad into thinking my sisters and I are just children. They pick my music and movies, and they even said my best friend was a bad influence. My father and I don’t have the same relationship. I’ve tried talking to them, but nothing has helped.

First off, don’t blame your dad -- it won’t help things any. I suggest you take your stepmom out and discuss the problems with her alone. In a one-on-one conversation it’s hard to escape the truth. You said she was nice to you in the beginning, so I’m sure there’s some of that civil attitude toward you still. When you speak with her, be sure to tell her your AND your sisters’ feelings -- let her know it’s not just you. And listen to her reasons for all these new rules, too. Above all, really think about what you feel is important to say beforehand -- don’t be looking for a problem with this woman if it’s not really there.