Let's Get Through It Together - Month One
it is, the debut of my new advice column! I want to thank you for sending
such interesting and insightful letters. Every single one of them made
me think long and hard. Anyhow, thanks for trusting me with your troubles,
and let’s get through it together!”
My first reaction is yes, you should talk with him about the changes you’ve seen -- but be careful. Don’t be too forceful because he may just get defensive and refuse to listen to you, which wouldn’t be any help at all. But by being positive and supportive, you may be able to get your bud to openly discuss what’s going on with him. It sounds like the two of you are really close, so hopefully he’ll be honest with you. But above all, try to let him know you’re really concerned about him and that you want to make certain he’s not getting himself into a situation he might later regret. Most of all, let him know you are there for him if he needs help. Good luck!
you asked, ‘cause recycling’s an easy way to help our planet.
After all, why throw something out and contribute to the waste problem
when it can be used over and over again? What you can do to find out
more about this worthwhile effort is contact a recycling center in your
area -- it should be listed in your phone book under recycling or Public
Works. Most cities have a “recycling Coordinator” who can
give you info on where you can take your cans (or glass bottles, newspapers
and plastic) and put them to good use instead of just tossin’
them out in the garage!
This is a hard
one, but I think your best bet is to bring attention to yourself. I
don’t mean doing something outrageous -- just simple eye contact
is really effective. One warning, though: a lot of people have their
friends play go-between to try to start a relationship. I don’t
think that’s the best thing to do, since you can never be 100%
sure of what your friend is going to say! Besides, personally, I like
girls who aren’t afraid to be up-front about their feelings and
will talk with me about how they feel. Most of all, though, be yourself!
First of all, don’t
blame yourself! Even though a divorce affects your entire family, including
you, it’s really about your parents and THEIR relationship. This
is hard for them, too, and I’d bet that the last thing they want
is for you to feel responsible for their divorce. Remember that you
are definitely not alone in this divorce thing -- it happens to (too
many) families. The best thing to do is to tell your parents how you
feel. I’m sure they’ll be able to explain why they’re
separating. Talking with them should make you feel more secure, confident
and a whole lot better. If you are still not coping well with the problem,
then you may want to talk with a professional counselor. Your guidance
counselor at school could probably help you or recommend someone else
for you to talk with. I’ll be thinking about you.
Here’s how I feel about it. Number one, if they’re your real friends, they will hang out with you regardless of your weight. Tell them up front to stop pressuring you and that it bothers you. Explain to them that you’re happy just the way you are, and you really wish they’d stop making you feel self-conscious. But, your pals might be more concerned with your health rather than how you look, which brings me to... Number two: check with your doctor to make sure that whatever you weigh is not unhealthy. If you are comfortable with how you are, but are at a health risk, you’ll have to think about whether staying at your current weight is worth the risk. If you do decide to lose weight, your doctor can give you a safe and effective plan. Hope I’ve helped!
I know it’s hard to take, but sometimes friends, even close family members, grow differently and take separate paths. It sounds to me like your sister is going through a phase where she needs to have a little space to learn about new things and meet new people. Don’t think of her friend as competition -- remember that you’ve known your sister her whole life, and you probably know her better than anyone else in the world! No matter what, you’ll always be sisters! Even though it might be painful right now, it’s actually very healthy for you both to have other friends. Talk with your sister and let her know how you feel -- she might not even be aware that you’re bummed out. Also, why not take advantage of this time to go out and get involved in activities you like? It could turn out to be a lot of fun, and you’ll probably make new friends yourself!
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